A Letter For All Whiny Obama-Hating Conservatives

crybaby

Dear Conservatives…..

OK, my righty friends, I think it’s long past time that we clear a few things up. First of all, it really IS a fact that Obama is the POTUS, and NO, you can’t change that, no matter how desperately you try. And you probably should know that to the rest of the country, you know, the rational people, your constant claims of imaginary crimes committed by our first black President only make you sound insane. Perhaps now that he’s entering his final year in office, it really is time that you just accept the reality that Obama won…twice.

Seriously, quit whining and deal with it..

Now obviously, I make no secret of how much I really like Obama. And, truthfully, I find it amusing that so many of you righties absolutely lose your minds over this fact. So, since you apparently just can’t grasp how or why I am so fond of our POTUS, I thought I’d give you a few reminders. But instead of trying yet again to show you a list of Obama’s greatest accomplishments, I thought I’d go with some of the things that you’ve decided were much bigger deals. Because as it turns out…I loved these things too! ┬áPlease try not to let your collective heads explode….

  • He killed Bin Laden
  • His Buzzfeed selfie-stick
  • His mastery of social media
  • His Nobel Peace Prize
  • His latte salute
  • His tan suit
  • His chewing gum
  • He’s a Socialist
  • His sneaky magical birth certificate
  • His great golf game
  • He brought us Joe Biden!
  • Being leader of the free world while black
  • “I know, I already won….TWICE”
  • He hasn’t invaded the wrong country
  • “Please proceed, Governor”
  • He believes in science
  • His IDGAF attitude toward the Conservatives
  • His swagger
  • He’s got plenty of executive orders ready for the final stages of the “transformation”
  • I really could keep going, but I don’t want to send you neo-Cons into a complete bout of the vapors.
    (You’re welcome.)

Oh, and hey, while we’re chatting, let me just let you in on one last thing. NO…no, Conservatives you CAN’T have your country back. Because you see it actually has never belonged to you. Bless your tiny little hearts. And since Obama is keeping his seat warm for Hillary, it looks like you won’t be getting the White House back any time in the foreseeable future either. So please just allow me to respectfully suggest that you learn to suck it up cupcakes.