Scientific Proof: Liberals Are Smarter Than Conservatives!

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Not only have scientists known for many years that there is a direct correlation between humor and intelligence, but we can now prove that Liberals really are smarter than Conservatives. You know…with science and shit!

Have you ever wondered why so many Conservatives are lacking a sense of humor? I know I have. Take the fun segments that Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders recently did on MSNBC’s Democratic forum with Rachel Maddow, for example. Most people found them really funny….well, except for Conservatives, that is.

Instead of laughing, the righties are freaking out over in their alternate universe. They are busy calling the Maddow interviews some kind of distraction from the serious candidates over on the GOP side. And oh, how I wish I was teasing right now. But in this alternate reality they live in, people like Bill O’Reilly say things like Dems shouldn’t be cracking jokes right now. After all, the Founding Fathers wouldn’t have done such things. Really Billy boy?? Well you know what else the Founding Fathers wouldn’t have done? They wouldn’t have surfed porn on their iPads because it would still be like another century and a half until Al Gore could invent the internet.

But you see, all of these attacks on Hillary’s and Bernie’s successful use of humor are not just about being rabidly anti-left. Actually these attacks  show us much more about Conservatives’ sheer inability to think – or in this case, to laugh like we do. True Story.

I guess we can’t blame them entirely for lacking a sense of humor. I mean when you really think about it, there’s actually nothing at all funny about being a total douchebag. After all, where’s the fun in denying equal rights to gays, minorities, the poor, and immigrants? Yeah, that must really suck. Nothing much to laugh about there, I suppose….especially if you’re a Conservative.

But, while righties may have trouble finding things to smile about, actual comedy seems to be one thing that downright pisses them off. At least the comedy that you and I find funny. So what is this about? Well, it turns out that there is actually a brain chemistry reason. You know…science and shit!

Not only have scientists known for many years that there is a direct correlation between humor and intelligence, but seriously, all joking aside, our brains…Conservatives’ and Liberals’…. really are different.

Scientists have found that Liberals have a larger and more active part of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, or ACC, than our Conservative counterparts. But while they are lacking in the ACC department, they actually have larger amygdala than we do.

Now What Do These Brain Parts Do??

First the Libs….

Basically, the more developed ACC allows the Liberal to be a better problem solver. It helps us to cipher through difficult information and make educated decisions. According to scientists, Liberal brain chemistry allows us to monitor conflict, detect errors, and we are more likely to

“respond to informational complexity, ambiguity, and novelty. Liberals, according to this model, would be likely to engage in more flexible thinking, working through alternate possibilities before committing to a choice. Even after committing, if alternate contradicting data comes along, they would be more likely to consider it. This is how science works, and why there might be so many correlations between scientific beliefs.”

Now the Cons…

The Conservatives on the other hand have a more developed center of emotion with the amygdala. It is said to be the center for fear, so with such an enlarged and heightened amygdala, much of what they do and how they react to most situations comes from a basic fear response. Discover Magazine also says,

“Conservatives respond to threatening situations with more aggression than do liberals and are more sensitive to threatening facial expressions.”

“So, when faced with an ambiguous situation, conservatives would tend to process the information initially with a strong emotional response. This would make them less likely to lean towards change, and more likely to prefer stability. Stability means more predictability, which means more expected outcomes, and less of a trigger for anxiety.”

So, basically what this all means is that they are just plain scared. And how can you relax and laugh and find humor in things that are genuinely funny when you are scared shitless all the time?? I mean, come on. We’d probably be a little grumpy too if we were born with Conservative brains, right? And ultimately what this all boils down to is that science proves what we inherently already know: Liberals are smarter than Conservatives.

I really do hate to rub salt in an already irritable righty wound, but I have a little more good news for my lefties. No matter how crazy the neo-Cons are, there are far more of us rational peeps in this country. And you know what else? Despite all of the lovely comparisons with Naziism and slavery, the Dems are right on track to win the White House next year.

Have a fabulous day lefties!!