The one thing that can unite this country and make us all laugh right now is the hilarious and merciless mocking of hypocrite Ted Cruz.
If you went to bed early on Monday night, then you missed Ted Cruz breaking the internet. In the late night hours of 9/11, it seems that Ted Cruz was on the hunt for some good porn. And apparently he found something he “liked” on Twitter.
Using his official account, Cruz liked a hard-core porn video posted from an account called “Sexuall Posts.” Now I have no problems with Cruz wanting to look at people getting their freak on. But I do shame him for being a huge hypocritical asshole.
I mean, this is the same guy who wrote a 76-page legal brief defending a ban on sex toys and masturbation.
So watching him get skewered today for his hypocrisy is quite fun. The responses on Twitter have been absolutely hilarious.
We have had so much bad news lately. And the disasters caused by the hurricanes and fires have been so tragic, it’s nice to have something we can all just have a good laugh at. And who better to laugh at than creepy Ted Cruz?
Creepy Ted Cruz did what?!? pic.twitter.com/MOxTdjph3W
— pharmafil (@mullenp72) September 12, 2017
Let's leave Ted Cruz alone, guys. Zodiac killers are allowed to jerk off too.
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) September 12, 2017
No one is taking about those hard working pornstars that now know Ted Cruz masturbates to them. I can't imagine what they're going through
— Chansey The Rapper (@ChanseyDaRapper) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz should be ashamed of himself. Not for watching porn, but for putting the image of Ted Cruz watching porn into people's heads.
— Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz's favorite porn videos usually involve green eggs and ham.
— Rocky Mountain Mike (@RockyMntnMike) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz becomes a little bit more like Kevin from the office everyday
— Kai (@kaimeade97) September 12, 2017
And the porn industry is like: "Hey, stop associating us with Ted Cruz!!"
— Igor Levit (@igorpianist) September 12, 2017
Let's not porno-shame Ted Cruz. Let's shame him for being an asshole.
— Los Feliz Daycare (@LosFelizDaycare) September 12, 2017
It's truly inspiring to see Twitter put aside our petty differences, turn in unison and laugh at Ted Cruz.
— Luke Benson (@Mr_LukeBenson) September 12, 2017
"Ted Cruz liked a porn tweet" has now replaced the actual events of 9/11 in my memory
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 12, 2017
Q: Why was Twitter invented?
A: Because one night in the future, Ted Cruz will fave a porn tweet and Twitter will reach perfection
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) September 12, 2017
"What are you doing in there, Ted? Why is the door locked?"
"I'M PRAYING ON THE DEBT CEILING!"— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) September 12, 2017
Yikes, Ted Cruz. I thought the only person who jerked off on 9/11 was Rudy Giuliani.
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 12, 2017
To be fair, literally every photo of Ted Cruz looks like he just got caught masturbating. pic.twitter.com/BAcjYa0OQT
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz "liking" porn may just be the most normal thing he has ever done.
— Lee Ann Lewman (@LALewman) September 12, 2017
this whole ted cruz thing is just a publicity stunt to make you forget he's the zodiac killer.
— ennui (@KeonLopes) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz is "working" HARD.
— Kate Porter, RVT (@yesimpeachnow) September 12, 2017
Last night, Ted Cruz's Twitter became President.
— Spencer Robinson (@13spencer) September 12, 2017
Trump got elected for "Grab them by the Pussy," "Ted Cruz" will get elected for posting porn. God bless America, where the pussy rules #MAGA
— Impeach Trump (@HarleyBull) September 12, 2017
Everybody's so squicked about Ted Cruz jacking it they don't take time to be grateful it's not a Ted Cruz sex tape. #blessed
— Ben Schwartz (@benschwartzy) September 12, 2017
liking incest porn is the most Donald Trump thing Ted Cruz has ever done
— mamoudou n'diaye (@MamoudouNDiaye) September 12, 2017
Nothing jump-starts a new diet like the words "Ted Cruz" and "porn" trending on Twitter.
— Rob Woodyard (@robwoodyard1) September 12, 2017
Our prayers and thoughts for Ted Cruz this morning. Nothing is too hard for him to beat.
— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) September 12, 2017
Even Ted Cruz's porn is about being jealous that other people have friends.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 12, 2017
One media outlet actually reported Ted Cruz's "like" of a porn site was "quickly yanked off." Tea Pain can't unread that.
— Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) September 12, 2017
*Knock knock.*
Ted Cruz: Who's there?
*Karma.*
Ted Cruz: Uh oh.
*Yep. You're trending on Twitter.
Rhymes with CORN.*
Ted Cruz: pic.twitter.com/9vMvtJ3gel— BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) September 12, 2017
So Ted Cruz likes porn, is a serial killer and his Dad killed Kennedy. I don't understand how he lost the Republican nomination.
— Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) September 12, 2017
Just In: Mike Pence no longer allowed to have dinner with Ted Cruz alone.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 12, 2017
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